Wife Refuses To Apologize To Husband For Making Him Feel Belittled By Complimenting Her Ex

"As lousy as my ex was as a husband, he’s a great father."

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• January 25, 2024

Jealousy in relationships can be a complicated and emotionally charged issue, often originating from insecurities, fear of loss, or past experiences. It can manifest as a desire for exclusivity or an irrational fear of being replaced, leading to behaviors like overprotectiveness, constant questioning, or an excessive need for reassurance.

While a bit of jealousy might be normal, unreasonable jealousy can be damaging. But how can someone determine how much jealousy is normal?

A Reddit user wondered also, so she asked Redditors for help. The OP shares custody of two daughters with her ex-husband, who, despite being an inattentive partner, is an exemplary father.

The ex-husband, often away on business, left the OP alone for extended periods, leading to a strained marriage. This situation continued until the OP met her current husband, who excels in attentiveness and emotional support.

Although the ex was not an ideal husband, his dedication as a father is notable. He assumes full financial responsibility for their daughters, maintains a close bond with them, and actively participates in their academic lives.

A recent example of his commitment was his attendance at their older daughter's birthday party, for which he adjusted his business schedule. At a dinner party hosted by the OP and her current husband, a mutual friend jokingly expressed jealousy over the ex-husband's prioritization of his daughter's birthday over a fishing trip.

This led to a discussion among guests, with the OP providing examples of the ex's dedication as a father. However, the OP also remarked on the ex's shortcomings as a partner.

The OP's current husband felt belittled during this conversation, withdrew his hand from the OP's, and remained silent. This reaction contributed to an uncomfortable atmosphere, resulting in guests leaving early.

The couple later argued, with the husband expressing his displeasure over being compared to the ex. He has since been insistent on receiving an apology, which the OP feels is unnecessary, believing she just stated facts and didn't undermine him.

The original story:

The OP explained her ex wasn't the best husband:

But he is a great father:

She explained he is always there for his daughters:

At a recent dinner party, the OP said in front of everyone that her ex was a terrible man, but he’s a great father:

This comment hurt her current husband because he felt like she was comparing him to her ex:

Now, he demands an apology, but the OP believes she did nothing wrong:

A Reddit user offered a rational explanation

Another Redditor agreed

Maybe the OP's current husband feels insecure

The OP was just being honest

Maybe he's jealous, but the OP is NTA

Redditors told the OP that she was not in the wrong by complimenting her ex, and she doesn't need to apologize to her current husband by telling the truth that doesn't affect him. But they said that her current husband probably feels insecure and jealous for not recognizing his role in her kids' lives, and that's the problem they need to discuss.

Filip