These Bartenders Reveal The Strangest Things They Overheard Customers Saying And The Quotes Will Not Disappoint

This makes me concerned about what bartenders have heard me say...

Rachel

• Published in Funny
• June 15, 2020

If crime movies have taught me anything, it is that people often view waitstaff and bartenders as invisible. They reveal the deepest secrets and intimate details of their evil plans, without realising that there was a sever listening in, ready to report back. This premise seems to be at least vaguely true in real life.

People talk without concern or worry that a bartender may be listening in, but according to this post, they likely are. The question, “Bartenders of Reddit, what is the strangest conversation you've ever overheard because people assume sound doesn't travel over the bar?” was posed, and the answers did NOT disappoint. 

OUCH

starskys-hutch

Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a women say to her friend, "Hey look, the bartender's really cute."

Friend: "No he's not!"

Response: "Oh yeah, you're right."

Likely true

vierawarrior:

"I’ve bartended but my favourite conversation was overhead while I was on the other side of the bar. “Look all I’m saying is Grand Theft Auto severely ruined our generations perception of how many police helicopters exist” Sounded like they were getting really heated over the matter haha"

Good to know I guess..

dirtybitsxxx:

"Lots and lots of cheaters. It's weird that serial cheaters take their girls to the same spot."

...

kba41510:

"Work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our convention center. I’ve heard way too many negotiations between businessmen and escorts.

Last one I heard involved the guy asking the lady how much extra she would charge to let his friend watch. (She said it was $200 to watch, $500 if he joins in)"

The worst!

Bloodshot_Shadow:

"I heard some chick say "and the worse part about it, is that lucky bastard got a whole gram of crystal out it for free."

NO

dapineapple:

"On Valentines day this year, we had a guest who accepted a face time from his girlfriend while his side-chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn't see the girl, but it was so obvious."

As long as he's better at medicine than architecture

woody29:

"Caveat they knew I heard them as they were sitting at the bar and I was the bartender. Three people come in together. Two guys and a girl. The bar was set up with mirrors on two sides and a walkway between them. One of the fellows asked me why he couldn’t see himself in the mirror when he was sitting directly in front of the walkway. I gave him one of those side eyed glances, thinking to myself does he really want me to answer this question. He kept looking at me questioningly. So I finally told him, “There is no mirror there, that is a walkway.” His friends burst out laughing and told me this guy was a med student at Duke. I walked away to get my laugh in."

Self! Love!

Connie_Chungnuts:

"I hated myself until I discovered masturbation"

Um, friendship goals?

IndiEstructibleProd:

Two businessmen having after work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I've heard. At first the usual "Lemme tell ya, you're a good person. I love you man." Later on (still fairly basic): "Fuck the wives! Hey, you and me, we buy motorcycles!"

To finally this gem: "If a tornado were to blow you away... I would fly after you."

Men are the worst

bonvoyageespionage:

"Was visiting my mom at work once (she tends bar) and heard her making conversation across the bar with a patron.

Suddenly, over the music, I hear the guy slam his fist onto the bar and yell "YOU... ARE FACTUALLY... WRONG." He immediately faceplanted on the bar, and his buddy had to carry him out of there.

My mom was just commenting on the fact that the song that was playing was country..."

"local vampire"

djbeesle:

"I once listened to three people have an in depth discussion about how they were going to kill the "local vampire" and the steps to take to protect themselves from the coven that said vampire is surely from."

YIKES

Boatdrnk32:

"I once heard a guy tell his buddy, "It's fun, it's like laser tag but with real guns" That was twenty years ago and to this day kick my self for not getting the whole story."

Pretty much!

METHBOOFER420:

"Are you telling me that I don’t have to yell my order to bartenders in loud places??"

Steelerfan345:

"I'm telling you when I'm 2 feet away I can hear you telling your friend about that burning sensation you've been having downstairs."

Rachel