Exasperated Sibling Bans His Brother's Girlfriend From A Children's Party After She Hijacked The Planning And Made A Spreadsheet Of Tasks
Generally, you would still tolerate your sibling's significant other when you have to meet during family events. Tolerance and patience should be the motto for these types of forced gatherings.
While most will "choose to be kind" to someone they don't really like, this man didn't bother sugarcoating his feelings. OP's (original poster) brother has been with his girlfriend for four years.
There are no wedding bells in their future but Harper, the girlfriend, insists on being referred to as a sister-in-law. They have no kids either and Harper is unemployed.
This has caused significant financial issues and they had to move in with OP's parents for the time being. Everyone in OP's family thinks that Harper is lazy but she makes up for it by being the "perfect housewife."
As if she's a society wife, Harper dedicates her energy to party planning. No one in OP's family remembers asking Harper to plan their trips, events, and parties for them but she does it anyway.
OP says she treats every event, even the tiny ones like they are weddings and she is the high-strung party planner. She makes spreadsheets of to-do lists and who will be in charge of every task.
OP's family rolls their eyes in exasperation and tells her that there's no need to plan this much since it's a one-year-old's birthday. After being shut down, Harper will pout and complain during the party about how it could have been better if only they did it her way.
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Here comes the issue: OP's Easter Egg Hunt at his house.
As expected, Harper sent everyone in the family a spreadsheet full of tasks. OP's task was to clean his house "properly."
He has to weed and mulch the flower beds as well as remove a dead tree on their property. She also took the liberty of adding a section for lawn care tips and tricks to make OP's job easier.
Harper assigned herself as the chef of the kitchen for the children's Easter egg hunt. She wanted a $120 budget which could increase to $155 if OP wants a cake.
OP had to shut her down quickly and replied: "Who invited you?" Harper was confused by OP's reply and texted him a bunch of question marks.
He said that he can't have any plus-ones at the event to watch his kids look for eggs. OP said that if he invited her, he also has to let the other guests bring dates.
He also informed Harper that they've maxed out their budget after buying a store-brand ham. He ended it with, "Sorry, I’m sure you understand how these things are. Best wishes!”
Harper has stopped talking to OP, his brother is mad at him, and his dad thinks he's petty but OP's mom (who hates Harper) is loving the drama. OP's wife thinks he has to act his age and stop this but she's leaving that decision to him since this concerns his family.
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Is OP an a**hole for not inviting Harper after she took charge of the planning without being asked? Read the full story below:
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"She treats every event like it's a wedding and she the wedding planner."
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"It would be so much more special and memorable."
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"There were tips and tricks"
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"Best wishes!"
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Harper has bigger problems than party planning
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I don't think it mattered to Harper if she bothered other people if she's doing this "party planning" for a while despite everyone's repeated complaint
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Harper and this person's mother should meet and keep that energy contained between the two of them
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With people like Harper, you have to shut it down quickly like OP did
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Don't give in at all
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Turn their controlling ways around to benefit you? Highly impressive!
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Efficient and no room for misinterpretation. Boss move from OP.
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Since she's so willing to help and have things be done her way, why not garden for OP as well?
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This is how the spreadsheet war of the new decade begun
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Other redditors had differents tasks in mind for Harper
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OP, it's not too late to do this! Unlike her hijacking ways, this would actually help her.
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Great minds and all that
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She should put her micromanaging ways into good use
She can plan and execute her own Easter egg hunt for all the children in the neighborhood. See how special that event is then.
Literally, no one asked her to be this extra but she grated on everyone's nerves. Honestly, she was due for a check and if it wasn't OP, someone else in the family was bound to snap eventually.
OP feels validated by the comments supporting his response but he also acknowledged the others saying otherwise
OP and everyone in the family knows that their brother is a j*rk as well for the way he has been treating Harper. They are just tolerating the both of them.
Harper desperately wants to be a part of OP's family
We look forward to these updates!
Just to be clear, OP was not an a**hole for telling Harper no. What she did was rude and uncalled for and it deserved a quick albeit harsh response from OP.
Despite that, we feel that Harper's relationship with OP's brother is bound to end horribly. Their relationship may be convenient for the two of them right now, but it's too toxic to end happily.
