Pregnant Woman's Friends Thought It Would Be Fun To Guess Her Unborn Baby's Skin Tone Based On Paint Chart

"As soon as I saw 'how dark their tea should be' I was like nooooooo."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• November 7, 2022

It's a little crazy to think that racism is not only alive but thriving in this day and age. Judging people based on their skin color and ethnicity is a ridiculous ideology.

And yet it persists and is upheld by the very systems that are supposed to protect everyone. They have even convinced themselves that they are somehow the victim and accuse anyone who dares go against them as sensitive snowflakes.

As if calling out racists is more controversial than the racist belief itself. They say they are being censored but yell the loudest if anyone even alludes to their existence.

The troubling thing is some have learned to be more covert with their offenses. There are those who are so used to the status quo that they don't realize their normal behavior is a form of microaggression that hurts people of color.

Sadly, the latter is more common and it can take them a while before they even realize they did something wrong. Their initial reaction is to be defensive because they couldn't possibly be racist!

A soon-to-be mom was appalled when she realized her friends are not as accepting as she thought they were. For more context, she is British while her significant other is British Indian.

Her friends were planning her baby shower when the topic of baby shower-appropriate games was brought to the table. One thought of modifying the "tea chart" they use at work into something more "fun."

At work they have a Dulux paint chart they use to indicate how everyone prefers their tea or coffee to be — this makes beverage run easier during the day

OP thought this was fun in that particular context — but how would they adapt this to fit a baby shower? This friend wanted the invited guests to place their bets as to what the baby's skin color would be.

They would use the same Dulux paint chart ranging from cream to dark brown to guess what skin complexion the baby would have

OP did not find it fun at all. She found it odd and "bloody racist."

Some of her friends are accusing her of being overly sensitive for not agreeing to the "fun" & "harmless" game. Her partner also thinks it's an odd game and vetoed playing it at the baby shower.

OP's friends have a really weird concept of what fun is because this game they came up should not be a game at all

If OP allows this game at her baby shower, her in-laws would believe she is racist by association

It's really odd that they even feel the need to speculate about an unborn child's skin color

If you associate and make excuses for racists then you are racist by extension

The grandparents would not like that at all

What a fun way to introduce your kid to their aunts!

If you hold the mirror up to someone's racist behaviors, they will recoil and be defensive. It's exactly what OP's friend is doing when she called her overly sensitive for being offended.

It's surprising that OP hasn't cut contact with this "friend" yet

OP really has to find better friends — people who do not compare her child's skin color to tea, bread, or pantones

"It's using items linked with oppression to now categorize them to the white gaze."

Not only did they feel proud enough to suggest this game out loud, they defended why it wasn't racist when OP cried foul

OP has no obligation to educate her adult friends how not to be racists

Will OP and her British Indian partner hold up the Dulux paint chart to their child to find out who guessed the skin color right? I have a feeling they're not going to be comfortable with that. Just a feeling.

OP's British Indian partner voiced their discomfort about the game and they still didn't listen

A traditional and boring baby shower would be a better plan than what OP's friends came up with

Her "friend" who concocted this game refuses to admit how wrong she was. Bonus is, OP now knows who she should keep in her and her child's life moving forward.

Racism and colorism are so prevalent that OP's unborn child has already been subjected to them. There was no excuse for the very blatant racist game OP's friends planned to hold.

Betting on a child's skin color using the same paint chart you use to decide what color your tea or coffee should be is so sinister. OP and her partner have a duty to keep their child far away from these (former) friends of hers.

Chelsi