Man Doesn't Know How To Deal With His Parents Who Are Awesome Grandparents, But Awful In-Laws

"They do show a lot of love for our kid, but become condescending to my wife"

Jesse

• Published in Interesting
• May 20, 2023

Imagine growing up in a loving yet emotionally distant family, where appearances are everything. The narrator (Original Poster) of this story, a 39-year-old man, knows this reality all too well.

Throughout his teenage years, he struggled to connect with his conservative parents, feeling alone and ashamed of his challenges. As he ventured out into the world, college life exposed him to a diverse array of people and ideas that broadened his perspective.

This wanderlust led him to a new city, professional success, and, eventually, the love of his life—a woman who is the polar opposite of his parents.

Now with a child of their own, this couple faces a dilemma. They believe in the importance of grandparents' presence in their toddler's life, but visits to OP's parent's house have been increasingly stressful.

The condescending and sarcastic attitudes displayed by OP's parents towards his wife and their parenting decisions have left cracks in the relationship. OP is torn between resentment and nostalgia, unsure of how to navigate his feelings and the delicate family dynamic.

So now, he is seeking answers to the difficult question: What should he do next? Is there a way to bridge the gap between his parents and his own family, or is it time to accept the reality of their differences?

Check out the full details of the story below. as well as the Reddit community's verdict on the matter.

Let's dig into the details

Looking back at his childhood, OP realized that his family was very conservative and judgmental

OP ended up getting married to a woman who is a polar opposite of what his parents are. While his parent's disapproval of his relationship didn't stop him from doing what he wants, it made him sad. And now that they have a child, the situation is worse

Each time OP visits with his family, his parents are always condescending towards his wife. And this has created cracks in his relationship with his parents

We gathered some reactions from the Reddit community for your viewing pleasure:

"Your parents are not owed a relationship with your children if they can't be polite to you and your wife."

"At some point, probably around 10-12 years old, your kids are going to realize that your parents are mistreating her and those kids are going to be angry at your parents"

"Why is it important that the kids spend time with their grandparents exactly?"

"Are your parents really good grandparents or is this wishful thinking on your part?"

"Your parents are trying to exert control in a place where they have none and the hard truth is either they need to change or your need to leave."

"Just tell them that they will stop treating your wife like this, or you will start limiting contact with them"

"You keep hoping it will be different. I’m sorry but you need to accept that it won’t change and stop trying"

Ultimately, OP must find the courage to face these challenges head-on, guided by love and understanding.

It's sad that despite his continued attempts to call out his parent's behavior, they apologize (to him alone) and fall right back into their habits.

Regardless of the outcome, the journey toward resolution will undoubtedly be enlightening for everyone. It will certainly offer valuable lessons in empathy, acceptance, and the power of embracing our differences.

Jesse