Colleague Refuses To Organize Coworker's Baby Shower Because They Don't Like Her

"I appreciate you reaching out but I won't be able to participate in planning it"

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• April 8, 2024

Baby showers are designed to welcome the arrival of a baby and help expectant parents prepare for their new addition. Traditionally, these events involve close friends and family, festive decorations, and different activities centered around the baby, such as games, gift-giving, and sharing advice and well-wishes for the parents-to-be.

Baby showers can vary widely in style and tradition, reflecting cultural backgrounds and personal preferences. They serve as a meaningful expression of community support and joy for the upcoming baby.

A Redditor shared that their coworker, Bambi, is expecting a baby. However, the OP does not hold Bambi in high regard.

OP maintains a professional relationship with Bambi when necessary for work-related discussions but does not seek further interaction as Bambi does not align with the OP's personal preferences in acquaintances. Jessica, another OP's colleague, has taken it upon herself to organize a baby shower for Bambi.

This decision is notable because in the past, when other employees welcomed new babies, neither Jessica nor Bambi initiated baby showers for them. Jessica reached out to the OP and another colleague, proposing a meeting to plan the baby shower for Bambi.

In response, the OP politely declined to participate in the planning process. However, the OP offered assistance in identifying a suitable date by checking department calendars and offered to help with cleaning up after the event.

Jessica found this response unsatisfactory, though the OP's boss showed indifference to the situation. Some of the OP's friends suggested that OP should compromise and participate in the planning despite their unwillingness.

So, the OP questions their stance, wondering if their refusal to help plan the event, despite it not being a significant inconvenience, might be seen as unreasonable.

The OP's dilemma:

The OP's colleague is expecting a baby, but they don't have a close relationship:

Another coworker decided to arrange a baby shower for her:

She invited the OP to help, but the OP kindly refused:

The OP asks if they were wrong for refusing because helping wouldn't hurt them, but they just don't want to do it:

A Redditor said the OP was not in the wrong

It was a generous offer

The OP is not obligated to help

No need to waste time and money on someone you don't even like

Jessica can volunteer as much as she wants

It's not fair to other coworkers who already had babies

The decision to participate in planning the baby shower is personal and should respect individual relationships and comfort levels. The OP's decision to maintain a professional boundary with Bambi while still offering logistical support for Bambi's baby shower shows a balanced approach to workplace harmony and personal boundaries.

Baby showers, indeed a celebration of new life and support for expectant parents, should not become a source of obligation or stress, especially in professional settings. The OP's willingness to assist despite not being close to Bambi speaks to a respectable level of professionalism and empathy.

Therefore, the OP's actions were thoughtful and appropriate, fostering a supportive environment while honoring personal limits.

Filip