Redditor Tells Her Mother She Won't Take Care Of Her Autistic Brother When She Dies Because It's A Burden

“I hope you know, that when you are gone, there will be no one to do his laundry and pay his rent when he gets fired again”

Filip

• Published in Interesting
• May 14, 2023

Living with parents and siblings can be both positive and negative. One of the most positive aspects is that you are surrounded by your loved ones.

But, one of the most negative aspects is also entitled to the surrounding. If your family members expect you to do their tasks all the time, it can be really exhausting and even frustrating.

A Reddit user shared her issue about living together with her brother and wanted to hear some unbiased opinions. They live together with their mom in a two-bedroom apartment due to difficult life circumstances.

She says she is two years younger than her brother but has always acted like the older sister because he is diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. But she feels that her brother is lazy and uses his diagnosis as an excuse for his incompetence, despite being able to have only three jobs and getting fired from two.

The OP also feels her mother treats her differently than her brother because of his diagnosis. The OP says that despite her own frustrations and struggles, she has always tried to be a good sister and make allowances for her brother's behavior.

However, she was shocked to be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at the age of 18 and feels that her mother is dismissive of her diagnosis because she has always been better at socializing than her brother. In a recent argument with her mother about doing her brother's laundry, she expressed her concern about her future responsibilities towards her brother, as she doesn't want to be a future drain on her hard work.

The OP asks:

She believes that she shouldn't have said that, but she had her reasons.

The OP explained that the three of them live in a two-bedroom apartment:

She said her brother is autistic but also lazy:

Her brother was diagnosed when he was 11, and this led to her being expected to act like an older sister:

She explained further:

She really did her best in that responsibility, but at 18, she was also diagnosed with "Autism Spectrum Disorder":

Her mother didn't take her diagnosis seriously, claiming that the doctors must be wrong:

So, it may be the reason why the OP snapped at her mother:

Her mother is angry with her now, but the OP believes that if she had to learn to live with her diagnosis, so should her brother:

Women on the autism spectrum are often overlooked or diagnosed late:

The OP replied:

One Redditor explained:

Her brother uses his diagnosis as an excuse:

"Of course you need to say it."

"It needed to be said," agreed another Redditor

The OP added:

"Being the sister/friend/maid will burn you out, it's only a question of time."

The OP explained that it's already tough:

"Your mom and brother need to learn to live their life without depending on you."

"He seems perfectly capable of living on his own"

Redditors agreed that it's understandable that OP feels frustrated and overwhelmed with the responsibilities she has had to shoulder due to her brother's behavior and her mother's expectations. It's important for her to prioritize her own needs and not feel obligated to take on more than she can handle, especially if it's at the expense of her own well-being.

Filip