Woman Leaves Husband's Funeral After Seeing His Friend Attending, He Doesn't Understand Why

"I feel as one of the reasons Emily doesn't like me is because James sets aside a lot of time for me."

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• July 22, 2023

Friendship, a bond as strong as any, can sometimes be misinterpreted by those who are not part of it. In some instances, friends are seen as intruders, stealing away the precious time of their significant others.

This story that our protagonist, OP, shares, explores such a complex scenario. OP's friendship with James spanned over seven years.

James, married to a woman we'll call Emily for the past two years, had managed to balance his time between his wife and his friend. The relationship between OP and Emily was never particularly warm, but it was tolerable for the sake of James.

James's untimely demise due to medical reasons shook OP. In the aftermath, he was taken aback by a message from Emily stating that she was uncomfortable with him attending the funeral. This felt extreme to OP, considering that while he and Emily weren't close, he hadn't anticipated being barred from his friend's farewell.

An argument ensued, ending with OP deciding to attend the funeral, as James' father had provided the date and expressed his wishes for OP to be present. Upon arriving at the funeral, OP noticed Emily's absence, but he didn't think much of it at the time.

However, Emily saw him, and she left. Who leaves the funeral of their spouse because they don't like some people who showed up?

Read the full story below:

OP asks:

OP's friendship with James spanned over seven years. James, married to a woman we'll call Emily for the past two years, had managed to balance his time between his wife and his friend

Sadly, James passed away. Emily informed OP about the funeral, but asked him not to attend

OP, however, was asked to come by the father.

Emily left the funeral when she saw OP

OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole:

"OP has all the right in the world to be at friend's funeral. "

"Significant others don't get to decide who gets to grieve the deceased"

How can you prohibit someone from grieving?

OP was invited by the person who had organized the funeral.

"She was as much of a guest as you were"

OP responded to one question, and it pretty much sums it up. They were close friends. Period.

OP's decision to attend his friend's funeral seems entirely justified. The bonds of friendship, especially one as long-standing as OP and James had, should not be dismissed.

It's crucial to remember that grief is a multifaceted process, and everyone has a right to say their goodbyes in their way. Emily's decision to leave her spouse's funeral due to the presence of another mourner reflects her inability to respect the shared grief and relationship OP had with James.

While it's understandable that emotional complexities might have influenced her behavior, it doesn't excuse the unfair accusations thrown at OP. One's dislike or discomfort with someone should not override the other's right to grieve.

Moreover, it is unkind to project one's insecurities onto a friend who is mourning a significant loss.

Damjan