30 Y.O. Proposes To His Younger Friend On April Fools' Day After Finding Out She Wanted To Be "Submissive Wife"

"I think she might benefit from a few sessions with a therapist to find out why she has that strong tendency to be submissive, especially as she’s only 23."

Chelsi

• Published in Interesting
• July 18, 2024

A 23-year-old confided in her friends that she fit into the traditional subservient wife archetype. OP had no plans to marry just yet but imagined how easily she would fall into the conventional gender roles in a relationship.

OP said she would "spoil her husband rotten." She wanted to be a wife who gave her husband massages, prepared all his meals, fixed his ties every morning, and gave him the deciding vote in all their choices.

In return for being a devoted wife, OP expected her husband to remain loyal to her and not abuse the power she gave up to harm her. OP's friends disliked her philosophy and said it made her vulnerable to be preyed upon.

OP said her ideology didn't mean she believed men were superior to women, as her friends implied. She just thought being submissive was the best way, at least for her, to "please" her future husband.

OP said she had been a passive person most of her life. While she was no longer frightfully timid, she went out of her way to avoid conflicts with other people.

OP wondered if she was too submissive after she witnessed her friends' strong reaction to her declaration. On the other hand, one of their male friends found OP's conventional thinking attractive.

Unknown to OP, someone in their friend group repeated their conversation to their 30-year-old friend, B.

Reminder, OP's post was in 2016.

The initial reaction to her confession in the subreddit was generally supportive. Plenty of Redditors told OP she was the ideal wife men dreamed of marrying someday.

This proved to be true when B contacted OP to meet him on April Fools' Day. OP thought her friend would pull another prank like he did when she was in college.

B got on one knee and proposed to OP. She thought the whole thing was an elaborate joke. She laughed as she repeatedly asked B if he was serious.

B sheepishly said it was an April Fools' joke and they parted ways amicably. Another friend informed OP that B has been sad since that day.

B's proposal was genuine. He thought he had a shot with OP after he found out she wanted to be a "submissive wife." OP was confused because she never viewed B as more than a friend.

This all happened within a week of OP telling her friends she was the submissive type.

Even their friends were blindsided by B's proposal to OP. They were aware that B was immature for his age, but OP never could have imagined him pulling this stunt.

Redditors felt he timed the proposal to have April Fools' Day as a cover if OP rejected him.

They asked if OP noticed a difference in how B treated her versus their other friends.

If OP thought the friendship was worth saving, an honest conversation with B was necessary.

OP said B treated her the same way he treated their other friends. Before her talk with B, she needs to ask their friend who disclosed the submissive conversation about what exactly she told him that could have led to the proposal.

OP said she planned to do what she could to get her friendship with B back to normal because he was a good friend to her.

3 days later, OP shared another update. B asked to speak to her. He confessed he was half-serious about the proposal. B was gauging if OP liked him the same way he did for years.

During their conversation, B asked OP out. She rejected him politely. B stormed off after the sting of another rejection. OP said their friendship seemed irreparable after that.

Redditors commented on how immaturely B behaved about the whole thing. It was alarming for a 30-year-old man to act that way.

They helped OP realize her friendship with B was never real. They believed he always thought of her as a potential partner.

It was questionable that he rushed into a relationship with OP only after he found out she tended to be submissive in relationships.

OP said she regretted disclosing that to her friends.

Redditors who read OP's story recently hoped she had matured over the years.

OP doubted every interaction she had with B because his confession colored every memory she had with him in an unfavorable light. Was he ever her friend, or did he always harbor feelings toward her and hope she would eventually feel the same?

OP's characterization of a "submissive wife" was genuinely alarming. Here's to hoping she grows out of that mentality and no longer believes she needs to be subservient to keep her partner happy.

Chelsi