Young Mother Who Grew Up In Drugs-Destroyed Home Doesnt Want To Listen To Addict Father-In-Law's Parenting Advice, But Her Fiancé Is Pushing It

"My fiancé is always trying to tell me how to do things. "

Damjan

• Published in Interesting
• December 7, 2023

Dealing with family issues can be tough, especially when you're trying to figure out how to be a good parent. This story from Reddit shows how hard it can be.

OP of this story, a 20-year-old woman, talks about her life with her fiancé and their baby. Both of them have had some rough times in their families.

Her mom disappeared a few years ago, and it was probably because of some bad stuff with drugs. Her fiancé’s parents were pretty bad too; they were abusive and into drugs.

Now, they're having some problems of their own. Her fiancé doesn't work and doesn't do much to help out with their baby or around the house. He's got opinions on how to do everything but doesn't pitch in.

One night, they were talking about how to raise their kid, and he started to say something his dad used to say. She got upset and told him she didn’t want to hear anything from an abusive drug addict.

This made him mad, and he brought up her mom. They ended up fighting and not talking.

The woman feels bad about what she said and explains more about her situation. She doesn’t want to parent like her mom did.

She also says that when her fiancé talks about his dad, it’s usually not serious. She's trying to figure out if she was too harsh in the argument.

OP and her fiancé have a 7-month-old son, and both of them come from dysfunctional families. Her fiancé often tells her how to do things, especially concerning their son, without actively helping.

OP and her fiancé disagreed about parenting styles, leading to a heated exchange where they brought up each other's troubled family backgrounds.

OP doesn't want to parent like her mom, and her fiancé's remarks about his dad can be sarcastic.

The main issue is that OP's fiancé isn't fully committed to parenting their child.

OP should make better choices for herself and her child.

The argument might have happened even without the discussion about parents.

OP's fiancé's laziness, unemployment, and controlling behavior are more significant concerns.

It's important to have self-respect.

The main issue is OP's partner's lack of effort in both the relationship and parenting.

OP should leave because the situation is likely to deteriorate further.

Having a child with someone lazy is already a mistake; marrying him would be compounding it.

His attempt to equate his dad and OP's mom was wrong, possibly said in the heat of the moment.

OP should do a few things. First, she should talk openly and honestly with her fiancé about how they want to raise their child.

They should listen to each other and understand each other's feelings. If things get tough, they can think about talking to a counselor or therapist who can help them work through their problems.

It's also a good idea for them to set some rules about what topics are too sensitive to talk about, so they don't hurt each other's feelings. When it comes to taking care of their baby and the house, they should work together as a team and make sure they both do their fair share.

Lastly, they should try to understand and forgive each other for their past mistakes and focus on making a happy and loving home for their child.

Damjan